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Peanut Butter & Jelly Twister

By Tyler Remmel

March 7, 2013

It’s been a while since I’ve made a dessert item for the Secret Menu. Since the Pseudo-Sundae last spring, actually. That one was a big one, a real doozie. A dessert-for-supper-tonight kind of doozie. This one, not so much. A lighter fare, the peanut butter and jelly twister is a new take on the...

Secret Menu: Toasted Oatmeal Sandwich

Secret Menu: Toasted Oatmeal Sandwich

By Tyler Remmel

February 21, 2013

Sometimes, I’m better at coming up with ideas for the Secret Menu than I am at other times. This week, I struggled a bit. I walked into Late Night Convo without a clear sense of what I wanted to make. Honestly, I had no idea. I’ve become addicted to oatmeal—the maple brown sugar packets availa...

Secret Menu: Lame Sauce

Secret Menu: Lame Sauce

By Tyler Remmel

February 7, 2013

I’ve always had a clear vision of what I wanted to accomplish with the Secret Menu. To boldly go where no man has gone before.Generally, I try to do this by loading as many greasy things into a single greasy mass. Health is never a worry. I have the rare (but wonderful) trait of possessing a...

The Secret Menu: ‘Why don’t you put some mustard on that sandwich, Remmel?’

By Tyler Remmel

October 10, 2012

This week’s secret menu was not a spur-of-the-moment, I’m-hungry kind of decision. No, this item has a backstory. In case you’re wondering (before you get bored with this story), this sandwich is good, not great. It tastes good, but it also takes a lot of work to make. And it’s messy. And it w...

The Secret Menu: The Buffalo Funnel

By Tyler Remmel

October 3, 2012

One of my favorite parts about the county fair is the food; so, as you can imagine, I was enthralled to be able to take this week’s Secret Menu to the fair. As soon as I began to see the flashing lights of the food stands and the smell of fryer grease, I remembered just how much I love fair food. I...

The Secret Menu: Feel Better Rainbow Tea

By Tyler Remmel

September 19, 2012

The weather has changed and fall is here. That means that green will be turning to orange and red, the sound of lawn mowers will be replaced by the sound of leaf blowers. Oh, and your summer health will be replaced by a fall cold —sorry, I hate to be a debbie downer. But mine was. Waking up with t...

Secret Menu: The Freshmen 15

By Tyler Remmel

August 29, 2012

In any one bite, I might grab a chip-formed carrot, half of an Oreo cookie, some uncooked Ramen noodles and a pork skin. And in that bite, my mouth would scream for more. Spoiler alert: my stomach isn’t saying the same thing. But I’ll ignore that and keep eating this week’s Secret Menu, code-n...

Secret Menu: The Taco 12-Pack challenge

By Dan Shade and Tyler Remmel

April 18, 2012

This week’s Secret Menu pits two Collegian staff members, design editor Tyler Remmel and photo editor Dan Shade, in a targeted fast food eat-off. The competition began with a Taco Bell 12 taco box. The object was to eat more tacos than the competitor, requiring the winner to eat quicker than the lose...

The softball-shaped Pseudo-sundae

The softball-shaped Pseudo-sundae

By Tyler Remmel

February 7, 2012

I had to roll my sleeves up for this week's Secret Menu. It was like my version of winter ice cream, a mashed up ball of fat and sugars on top of a sugar cone that won't leave your stomach as cold as the snow outside like actual ice cream would. I started with an assortment of Convo Fat Bar delicaci...

Secret Menu: The Frankenburger

By Dave Immel

January 26, 2012

Well kids, I regret to inform you all that I will no longer be bringing you disgusting abominations of food after this issue that you hold in your hands this very instant. I have moved on to bigger and better things. You may be asking yourself, "But what could ever be better than Ashland University!?"...w...

Secret Menu: Cirrhotic liver and myocardial infarction

By Dave Immel

October 19, 2011

Several weeks ago I took a bike ride out into the country and stumbled upon a gold mine. I found a small farm that deals with chickens. They sell organic eggs and also sell whole chickens. I recently decided to get one of their chickens but little did I know that I would be surprised with the specia...

Secret Menu: Secret Spite

Secret Menu: Secret Spite

By Dave Immel

October 12, 2011

This week is gonna be a little different from our usual Secret Menu. In case you haven't yet read Justine's opinion column (go do it), or if the Secret Menu is the only thing in The Collegian that you read (and who could blame you?), then you probably haven't heard yet that The Collegian's budget wa...