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Whole people finding whole love

Bella Pacinelli

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Author, Cheryl Strayed, has left me feeling inspired since watching the film adaptation of her memoir, Wild.

This movie illustrates Strayed’s emotional and physical journey along the 1,000 mile Pacific Crest Trail. Dealing with the loss of her mother and recent divorce, she struggles to be reminded of the strong woman she once was.

Her incredible story has proved to be influential to many and clearly, I am one of the many.

Her quote, “we have to be whole people to find whole love,” refuses to leave my psyche. It is something I have always been told, but never genuinely believed.

Why is it that I cannot love another while still working on myself? It always seemed unfair to me; but I do not feel that way anymore. I no longer resent being told that I must fall in love with myself first.

I think this newfound acceptance has to do with the way Strayed uses her words. They are much more powerful than the generic impossibility of loving someone else without loving yourself.

The notion of being whole people is quite brilliant. It suggests that we need to discover what it is about ourselves that can look past the common feeling of emptiness.

These discoveries make us the person we are.

We must find happiness and wholeness on our own. It cannot rely on anyone else because the simple truth is that even the best people let us down from time to time.

When we are confident in our ability to be alone and be genuinely happy, we can begin to search for the whole love that we all deserve.

Society does not usually consider “real” love to be “whole” love, but what if we started? Our vision of the relationships we hold would shift dramatically.

Whole love builds us up. There are no insecurities, no confusion, and no abandonment. If we are whole people, we do not settle for anything less than ideal; this is the way we achieve whole love.

Cheryl Strayed has opened my eyes to the way I view myself in relation to finding love.

It is okay not to be ready for the whole love that she discusses.

It is so easy to rush the process and get caught up in finding the person we are going to be with for the rest of our lives. Nevertheless, it is important to remember that everything works out the way it is supposed to.

I will leave you with another quote from Strayed.

“I can’t say when you’ll get love or how you’ll find it or even promise that you will. I can only say you are worthy of it and that it’s never too much to ask for it.”

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