The Secret Menu Challenge 12: The Wheaton

By Nick Zavarella

A guy that goes by the name of Beans made my last Secret Menu so I named this Secret Menu after its maker, Brian Wheaton.

I once again returned to the Eagles Nest since my co-ed intramural floor hockey championship game (which we won) went past Convo hours.

I took the advice of Matt Tullis and got a grilled cheese sandwich but who eats just cheese and bread? No self respecting man from America! So I added chicken tenders and brought back the cheesy fries cuz well, why not?

You may have actually eaten something on the same accord if you have traveled to Ohio State University. There is a place down there that will put anything you want on a sub and deliver it. I would tell you the name of it if I could but let’s face it; I was in OSU, at a party, at 2 a.m. I don’t even know where I slept that night.

Back to The Wheaton.

Considering hindsight is 20/20, slapping a quesadilla in the middle along with the cheesy fries and chicken tenders would only compliment the sandwich.

If you choose to add the Quesadilla, call it The Il’Giovine. The workers at the Nest will have absolutely no idea what you are talking about but it would make for one hell of a sandwich.

In the end, the Wheaton lacks some taste but The Il’Giovine would make up for that. It’s a little on the small side but like my mom always says, “The best things come in small packages.” That was her attempt to make me feel better for being the smallest kid in third grade but I think it applies here.

I give The Wheaton a B- compared to everything I have eaten during this Secret Menu business.

It’s a solid sandwich that certainly met my expectations. How long until I get a concoction named after me? After all, word on the street is people have tried the Cheesy Tropical BBQ Sandwich and I’m sure it didn’t disappoint.