The common denominator between alcoholics and Gleeks

By Amanda Eakin

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At what point can one say that an addiction has gone too far? I will say, with unwavering pride, that I am a Gleek-or, to the woefully uninformed, a diehard fan of the TV show “Glee.” Oftentimes I tell people that I don’t have time for TV, that I am far too busy to sit down and watch a show for even thirty minutes, which is an indisputable truth.

“Glee,” however, will always be the exception.

As I stood at the check-out line at Walmart, staring down at a glossy DVD cover of “Glee: Season 2, Volume 2,” I wondered what ever happened to my goal of simply buying drinking water. It was a Friday night and I had just gotten off work when I made an impulse decision to steer my car in the direction of Walmart before heading back to my apartment. I needed water, I reasoned, so I might as well get some while I was out.

But then, before I knew it, my feet had led me to the DVD aisle of Walmart as my eyes greedily scanned the rows for the desperately sought-after item.

Thirty dollars later, as I dazedly stumbled out of Walmart, wondering what the hell had happened, it occurred to me I had forgotten to buy the water.

This is a problem, people. Not just because I sacrificed $30 of my hard-earned money without flinching, for a TV show nonetheless, but because I could not execute any prudence before buying the DVD set at full price. I should know better. I am acting as the ideal consumer-an utterly impatient moron.

As with all of my problems, I took the liberty of Googling the word “addiction” to see what came up. I wanted to see what symptoms applied to me, though I highly doubted “Gleek” could be considered a mental condition worth diagnosing…scratch that, yeah, it is.

Unsurprisingly, alcoholism was one of the first addictions that came up. Also unsurprisingly, a quick glance over the symptoms of alcoholism told me that being a Gleek is basically the same as being an alcoholic:

• “Neglecting your responsibilities at home, work, or school”: Check! The moment I got back from my Walmart escapade, I ripped off the plastic wrapping of the DVD box and popped the first disk into the DVD player. Prior to this, I had plans on studying for a test and working on a paper. And I forgot to eat dinner.

• “Continuing to [watch “Glee”] even though [it] is causing problems in your relationships”: Check. I am ashamed. That night, I got a text from someone asking me what my plans were. My response? “Homework. I’m sooo busy!”

• “‘Blacking out’ or forgetting what you did while you were [watching Glee]”: Check. One minute it was 8:30, the next it was 2:00 in the morning. There must have been a black hole in my living room or something.

The article I was reading concluded with the statement, “If [watching ‘Glee’] is causing problems in your life, you have a problem.” Very insightful. That applies to me too. With my credit card bill as high as it is and with the parking ticket Safety Services cheerfully tucked under my windshield wiper a few days ago (thanks, guys!), I really couldn’t afford to buy the DVD. Yet I did anyway. You know why? Because I’m stressed. I’m tired. I just want my mind to go numb.

“Glee,” no matter how critical of the show people are, will always have a magical ability to make me forget about my responsibilities, even for the 45 minutes each episode contains. Right now, all I’m thinking about is everything I need to get done this week, and the week after, and the week after.

I think I’ll go watch some “Glee” now.

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